Saturday, December 31, 2005

Sri Pada - Adams's Peak

So this audio blog is in the middle of the climb - but I couldn't help but laugh when a man goes running up past me with a toilet on his head.

On another note - I finished the climb about 10hrs from the start and saw one of the most beautiful sunrise I have ever was worth the hike and a great start to the new year.


Friday, December 30, 2005

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I am in Sri Lanka...i know i am

Got two emails today hinting that I might not be in Sri Lanka.
Proof is on the way.


BTW>> Their is a kid reading my words over my shoulder. Damn I have
nothing to say....

Monday, December 26, 2005

I love audio blogs!

Today I am sending this message via email because the internet is tooo
slow to load the blog.

Today is the 1st year anniversary of the Tsunami here in Sri Lanka. I
was really excited about being here and going to witness the actual
tsunami beaches and see first hand what work has been going on in the
past year. Especially with my internship at Oxfam last year and all
that tsunami work...

However the NGO that I work with here was really strict about visits
to other locations in the country. They are extremely controlling and
decided it was best for our team not to visit any areas - they even
told the visiting UK team that live in Colombo that they were
forbidden to visit a beach only a couple km's away.
I think something is definitely up! I can't put my finger on it....
probably they don't want us to see first hand how the reconstruction
projects are going in the country...In fact for the whole 4 months I
am here my team might not be able to visit a beach!

This is definitely weird...

Crap I have spent to long on the computer I must goooo....

Thanks for the recent posts and emails about my previous blogs - it's
really quite cool to think people listen to my thoughts...

I can't wait to share a bit more of my strange days with everyone.

Peace from Kegalle

Friday, December 23, 2005

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Monday, December 19, 2005

day off...

So I took a day loff last Saturday - my first full day off in a couple
weeks... and it was really awesome. I bused off to a place called
Kandy [about 1 1/2 hr away] and the stayed at a small hotel in the
mountains. The place reminded me of Darjeeling in India - tea
plantations, mountains, fog and a good cup of tea.
However the weather was crap and I couldn't see more than 10 ft in
front of me - a bad mixture of fog and rain.
But my plan wasn't to do anything much for the weekend except stay in
my room and read. I didn't touch the internet and or use the phone.

I just needed time to relax and do nothing.

It was fun.

Peace from Kegalle,

Reading: Funny boy

A book written by a Sri Lankan/Torontiannannanana - it's very
detailed, descriptive, dauting and distrubing - how that's for

Email blog

You can email, phone and now video your blog in...
Today it's email...

This is an excerpt from my journal last week:

Dec 15th 2005,
Plantation Trust, Kegalle

Silence. It hurts the mind.


Mind. Be silent because it hurts.


Pain. Silence is better left alone.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Suck it up...princess

That's right. I am not going to bitch or complain for the next two weeks to anyone. I will try to be good or good I will try to be.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Hello from Home

I have moved locations every 6 months for the past 3 years - yesterday I found my new home for the next 3-4 months. Its in a small village near Kegalle, Sri Lanka - the fmaily I am living with are quite amazing and I am going to be learning so much about this culture that I can't wait....

Quick funny story: This morning I found that thier was no door to the shower, it's open concept - unlike the 3 person glass shower that I had on Degrassi Street. So I was kinda nervous to have my shower this morning because hey - it's open concept and people could just walk by. But this morning it went up another notch - as one of the family members walked by while I was taking a shower and started to ask me some questions about my laundry. This lead to a full 5 minute conversation. I am not ashamed of my nakedness. I just need to hit the gym.

Peace from Kegalle

Friday, December 09, 2005

Again from Sri Lanka

So being here in Sri Lanka has been a familiar place - it all feels like India and in some cases even the Carribean. I honestly think I am in India and at some point I think I am going to "bust" out the Hindi to order food and stuff...

The food is different - it's hot and it's a killer. A killer I don't want to eat anymore. I think a three day fast has to be in order. Will work on a buddhist fast soon.

Stuff to the brim in Colombo

Monday, December 05, 2005

Hong Kong airport

SO I have this new back end for the website and it's making life easy...look Jam is actually where he says he is!!!!!!!!

On another note I love Hong Kong airport - so much to do...right now I am sitting in a VIP lounge with a nice plate of food, comfy chairs and yes the internet. All was well except when I checked my emails and found a HUGE pail of emails and know I have some work to do for work and well a little bit of fun.

Tomorrow Sri Lanka for 3 months.

Excited. Nervous. Crazy.

Speaking of Crazy - I read an evalution report on me a couple days ago in which someone commented " Jam is crazy. He is a bad man"

What else can I say?

Peace from the Kong

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Vancouver airport

So it's an internet hit and run machine and I hate typing on these things.

Too many people always reading what you are typing.
I like Vancouver airport. It looks nice and simple - I haven't been in here in 4 years but it seems a bit bigger and alot friendly more pleasant - or it could just be that's close to midnite and everyone is tired.

On a different note - it's hard to leave Manitoba I left somethings unsettled and I had sooooo many goodbyes that I missed. Manitoba has to be the heart of Canada it's really friendly.

Off to Hong Kong and I look forward to a hotel and a nice 12hr delay.

Peace from the Sea

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Ipod and a little talk...

This morning I phoned apple support about my ipod - or lack of ipod. It seems that my ipod is still in repair and it probably wouldn't get into my hands in time for my departure. However I had the best time speaking to the customer service rep and she was sooooo polite. I felt that Apple acutally cared about my ipod problems...weird...she even gave me her work number and told me to call her personal about my service.

This wouldn't be the last time you hear about this problem.

On the other side of the world...

I was suppose to speak today for about 10 minutes about my life here in Manitoba and man was I ever nervous. With my time serving overseas I feel less and and less incline to share my work publically with other people - the blog feels easier. So tonite I was really nervous about sharing my stories and life. So the little talk went terrible in my opinion AND I honestly don't remmeber everything I said... and I thank God that their wasn't alot of questions...
Well enough blabbering. Good nite.

Peace from the prairies

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Rent - head

Some of you might now and some of you might never guess...but it's true I am a rent head. I love it and you are going to hear all about it...
I have seen the play in New York and Toronto over a dozen times and each journey was unique and worth the experience - I even remmber taking a 9 hr bus from Liverpool to London just to see the closing performance in London and it was a very emotionally time. I always got tickets and I have never payed full price for any seat or standing room, thanks to Jonathon Larson's ticket policy.

So when the movie opened up in Manitoba last nite I didn't mind doing the 1hr drive - in fact it was painfully easy. Unfortunately my rent buddy didn't show up and this was the 5 th + time and last time B has screwed me over for things in the past month. Thanks.

Here are some little snipbits that I love about the film.
The intro scene was awesome and it totally took the play into another level.
The "Tango Maureen" dance sequence was unique and definitely my favourite part of the film...ah...the unecessary drama of it all
La Vie Boheme restaurant scene - enough said.

BUT the best part was the outdoor market scene for a "Thousand sweet kisses" ...their was this really funky looking girl in the background...she wearing a rainbow hat and matching gloves... she was just wandering around aimlessly in the background for a good chunk of the song and then she just disappeared....hmmm.....

Some friends and I are checking it out again on Monday nite. All are welcome. Just show up.

Peace from the prairies

Monday, November 21, 2005

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

"Top" Stories of 2005

Hey everyone,

I am in Toronto this weekend and some friends and I are playing "Sardines" a hide and go seek game in the Kensington area on Saturday nite. Everyone is welcome to join!

I just sent this out in a massive email...sorry for the repost.

At the request [and pestering] of several friends I have been encouraged to share more stories about my life - some people find it interesting and some extremely boring. I am definitely going WAY out of my comfort zone by doing this - but you have to do something everyday that scares you...

Thanks for reading this far and I hope you enjoy some of my "top" stories and rants of the past year.

1. Top Xmas Moment:
On Xmas morning my sisters and I went skating in Central Park, their was some light flurries, hot chocolate and some good hugs. New York is the perfect Xmas city and it proved itself that day.

Worst Xmas Moment:
Times Square on new years eve. With so many police checks, helicopters and the fear of terrorism in the air– things sure changed since my last block party in 99'. I left at 10pm and went straight to my pub in the village, where my family and I abused the privilege of jello shoots and coronas.

2. Top Fast and Backpacking experience:
Before a short work contract in March my friend [CDM] and I headed down to the island of Tobago for a tech fast. A tech fast for me is quite simple: no technology for 5 days – no phone, no radio, no internet etc...
We hitchhiked and walked half that island on this trip - sleeping on beaches, bizarre coves and cliffs. It was a really exciting time... except temptation came on the last day... when we were walking on a beach in a sleepy fishing village and I turned to the right only to see a small beach hut that doubled as a restaurant and internet café - inside were two beautiful imacs on a small wooden table and thru the window you can see the background of a beautiful blue ocean. Hmmm...temptation and I didn't give in...

3. Worst Month:
Nov 15th 2005
Portage la Prairie, MB
Hello May,
It was nice to see you for 31 days.
The weather you provided was extremely hot during my travels in Canada, Europe and India, but you kept me in the good company of friends throughout my time with you.
During my stay in May [ no pun intended to you] I got to travel twice to India. It was quite a challenge taking 9 females and 2 males to India for 3 weeks, but you made the days long with challenges and the nites even longer with discussion. So at least it was never boring.

Here is a short story from my online journal that will probably explain a bit more:

This morning I was helping with dressing patients who have bruises. Now these aren't normal bruises, most of the patients have been rejected from hospitals so there bruises are unique, anything from a whole the size of your fist in a head to a foot just cut clean off. While I was helping to dress a patient I noticed a patient beside me who looked like he was about to die, he was on a respirator and breathing slowly. I said a silent prayer for him and continued on to work with the nurse and patient. After we finished I went over to check his pulse and I couldn't find it anywhere, hands, neck, etc... He just passed away while I was helping somebody else. I jsut sat there is awe for a minute and then called the nurse over. She checked and we then closed his eyes. It was scary to think that those eyes once had life less than 5 minutes ago and now it's empty.

So May I am sorry to tell you that everyday was filled with stories like this one. I know it's sad and very unexpected but I still feel depressed about some of the life lessons even while November is visiting.
I hope that when we meet in Malawi in 5 1/2 half months it can be on different terms.

Your truly long weekend party buddy.

P.S. If you want to read more about my time with you please visit my journal :

4. Top Beer moments.
A beer is only as important as the company you keep. A beer, a good pub and friends is now a standard event for me every Sunday nite, regardless of the city or country.
In Toronto you can find my friends and I at Smokeless Joes every Sunday nite and the beer of choice is the "Krombacker" from Germany. Joe you need to update your beer list – it's dwindling....
But my best beer experience of the year was at Eagle and Child in Oxford – it was my fourth visit? – but the history of the Lewis, Tolkien and the Inklins adds to the Guinness. For all you beer connoisseurs their pipes are cleaned every week.

5. Top email for the past year:

Martin to jam Nov 12 (3 days ago)

hey jam,
long time ago that we heard from each other.
remember me? i think when we met in kolk a few years ago, you inspired me to cut of my african tredlocks and shave my head becoming a monk.

True Story. He is now a monk in North Rajasthan [see pic below] and I am sacred shitless because I went to India a couple years ago to stay anonymous and serve the poor – We only spent a couple weeks serving together...I really didn't think I would have any influence on anybody – really who am I?

6. Top Random moment.

My friend [CDM] and I were going through the summer issue of Outpost Magazine at 1am and we glanced at an article for the Badlands in Saskatchewan. 12 hours later we where checking out the view of the badlands [after a small detour at Bushwackers in Regina] and we camped out in a old shooting range near the US border. The trip gave me a deeper appreciation of this country as we drove through the flat lands of Saskatchewan which was really freaky and suddenly we hit the rocky hills of the Badlands. I love Canada. The drive back totally rocked as we stopped in every small town from Weyburn Sask. to Souris MB [ I love the suspension bridge and little picnic spots] for tea and deserts.

7. Top albums.
Bloc Party. Bloc Party. Bloc Party! Stars – Heart [two years running]. Garden State.
Thievery Corporation – Cosmic Game. Kayne's West – Late Registration.
Worst concert this year – Feist in Winnipeg she had technically problems and never recovered :<>

8. Most embarrassing act.
I was making a purchase at the local thrift store here in Portage and this elderly women was taking her time fishing for change in front of the line. So I immediately fished a loonie out of the my pocket and gave it to the clerk. Everyone in the store thought I was a really "nice" guy for helping her do this – what they don't know... is that I was really impatient standing in line and I didn't want to wait for this women for God knows how long to count every penny in her purse. I felt so embarrassed at myself that I quickly made my purchase and promised to be kinder man to the world. As if.

9. Faith makes me late...
Everyone knows that I will always be late, it's built into my internal brain – but I really think that the world conspires for me to be late. The best example was when my BA flight got delayed on the runway for docking at Heathrow. My ex was flying out of London to Guatemala on that same day for 6 months and we were both planning to meet in the Terminal for a cup of tea to catch up. Well I was totally late and we ended up both sitting at the airport texting and wishing each other good luck for 15 minutes before she boarded her plane. Damn you Heathrow! This is the 3rd time in 2 years you have done this to me!!! [sorry Leona B].

10. Top Tea moments.
I ended almost every nite in Kolkata drinking Chai at a small stand with locals and foreigners. The chai stand consisted of three rotten benches against a dirty wall – which was conviently placed over a really smelly drain. The chai was awesome and the company perfect. You can discuss everything from bowel movements, café's in Vancouver to India's history in WW2 – a ridiculous wealth of knowledge flows through Chai
Mother House Chai – I swear they bless the stuff.
Cedar Inn in Darjeeling – just walk in and tell them that you know Jam and all will be taken care off. ..The place looks like Rivendale from Lord of the Rings and the 1st Flush, Bio Organic Muscatel Valley Tea is perfect – it's even fair trade. I am drinking it right now as I write this.....

If you actually read all of this congrats for taking the time and thanks for sharing in my fears - I hope I hit send on the email...Please send me an email or shout out if you have the chance...

Peace from the prairies

Monday, November 14, 2005

Another good email...whereintheworld?

Every couple days I get a really good email that send my spirit thru the roof. Today is a good example! I love you Mr. Malawi!

BTW> It's the typical email to Jam - where in the world are you? and when are you coming to visit?


How‚s it going, bud? Where in the world are you these
days? How‚s the job going? Are you still planning a
visit this way? When are you planning on coming? How
long will you stay? What would you like to do? Let
me know, so I can plan for it in my schedule.

How‚s everything else going? Well, I hope. Thanks
again for your help in getting me this position.
Coming here has been one of the best decisions of my
life. The experience has been incredible.

Anyhow, I look forward to hearing from you. Be in


Sushi + Birthday Party...

Yesterday was a good day to spend in Winnipeg. A family from Portage took me out to the past Sushi place in Winnipeg - Wasabi's on Broadway. The sushi was the best I ever had and the seating was a mixture between an old school Sushi restaurant and a new chic place. Very funky!

After the sushi I went over to my friend's place for her birthday party and surprise - surprise - I showed up at the end of her birthday party just as the guest where all heading out the door. It was still fun to hang out with the girls and eat some homemade cholocate cake and cookies....I played with the new cat "Elie" - and according to the owners I am the self proclaimed "CatFather" or Uncle Jam.
I like being a Catfather it gives me a sense of purpose in this world.

Tomorrow I am actually posting a little bit more information about myself than normal. It's my "top" 10 list of the year - from funky emails to exotic beaches. The stuff that made me laugh and cry.

Peace from the prairies

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Saturday, November 12, 2005

"Sardines" in Kensington Market!

The ball is now rolling on outdoor games... I just got off the phone with my friend who is organizing this one in Toronto and I will be there in Kensington Camouflage.


Sardines in kinda like kind&seek but only one person hides. Everyone else seeks (either alone or in pairs if you'd prefer) until they find the hidden person. When you find them, you have to hide with them... until everyone is hidden in the same place (like sardines - hence the name) at which point you end the game and start again... good times!!! It should be a great chance to hang out, have fun, get a little excercise outdoors, and meet some Freedomize folks you haven't yet.

Next Saturday, November 19th (not tomorrow, the next one)
We'll meet at 7:00pm (location tba) and go for drinks at the Red Room after (around 8:30pm)

See you in the Market! :)

Friday, November 11, 2005

It made my day...

Work has been tough and fun for the past couple days. I have a pretty good group and it's good to see each of them grow individually as well as a team. It's really a unique experience.
So today was my sick today at home and I missed our usually Friday fun day...

but this e-letter came 1/2hr ago and it made my day.

Hey dude,

Hope you're feeling better! The group missed you today. We did some improv
games to end off the day. I became a carpet monster who ate people's shoes.
Sorry you missed it. Gave Nadeesha and Nilmani quite a (good humoured)
scare, I think! Nic and Karuna rolled me up in the carpet and I dragged it
around while still trying to eat people's shoes.

Nandika even joined in the improv fun by phoning Karuna in a "House Party
Game" and asking to speak to her daughter. Quite the hilarious moment.

The Remembrance Day ceremony was militaristically impressive, but morally a
bit lacking, I think. Certainly, the service was well organized and well
thought out, but I think they missed the true meaning behind Remembrance
Day, especially when you think about Canada's very anti-Semitic viewpoint in
the Second World War. Sad that we've forgotten the true meaning of a day
that's supposed to be about remembrance.

We also talked in Tha Centa about tomorrow, regarding skating, etc... as
well, we discussed the culture show and discovered that Amila can play the
drums. I'm going to look into finding him a drum set. I'm under the
impression that our culture show will be at the church now, correct? If so,
that's good, piano-wise. They have an easily-accessible one in the gym.

Anyway. Tonight Joani and Byka have invited the group over to their house
for a game of RISK, around 7-ish. Good amount of time; we have to be out of
the house by 1:30 tomorrow morning. If you're feeling up to it we'd love to
see you there. I would, because I'd love to KICK YOUR SORRY ASS at RISK.

You just wait. Haha.

Feel better, if we don't see you!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Monday, November 07, 2005

An extremely long 24 hrs...

Last nite on my ritual Sunday nite drive into Winnipeg I picked up a hitchhiker. This was not your ordinary hitchhiker - when I picked her up she looked really tired but when she put her bag in the car it clanked and I knew it was full of empty bottles. I told her to sit in the back seat and that stenched followed her... after a couple minutes of hitchiking talking, she then proceeded to show me this mark on her knee. A huge gash that was bleeding profusely.... I wanted to clean it but faith was telling me to stop and drive her all the way into the city. Then suddenly this whole feeling of being helpless and insecurities of India hit me again - but then I realized that I could help this women as minimal as it sounds - the best thing that I could do is drive her to the hospital. So while she was passed out in the car I phoned a friend and got the directions for the nearest hospital in the peg. Then I dropped her off - bleeding and high at the front door. I still think there is more that I could have done...but I guess that will have to wait for another time.

Then today I had a tough day of discipling 4 members of my team for misbehaviour. It wasn't fun and it took alot out of me... I need a break.


Listening to: Black Album - Jay Z

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Back in the prairies...

I left the prairies for a week and I really missed it...Manitoba is so friendly and well Toronto is only friendly to those who understand it.

My time in toronto was well spent....Realistical I came in for a week for only 6 meetings and some were interesting...but the real fun was meeting other people from across Ontario and Manitoba that have the same job as me. Few people share my pain and joy so it was definitely a good bitchin' session.

It was also good to see my family and friends - this was my last visit to Toronto for the next seven months and the thought of leaving my city for so long is quite depressing. Alot of tears were shed last week and for some of my friends - they didn't even know that was the last time we would see each other for a long time. It's quite sad.

Only a weird note I had three people email me yesterday who wanted my mailing address. I am the only who finds this bizarre?

Jam in prairies....

listening to Coldplay...

Monday, October 17, 2005


I sincerely apologize to those in New Zeland, Chile, California, New York, Oxford, London, India, Trini, Malawi and especially my Cdn friends for not answering the phone, not returning emails and especially for not visiting the tdot folks.

This job is encompassing my whole life and I use all my free time to stay away from all forms of communication [ Man I miss those technology fast!] I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I running to it as fast as I can.

On a side note: Saw Feist and Jason Collett in concert last week in the good old peg. Jason gave the best concert ever and he is clearly a clever stage performer. Fiest was really disappointing she had a minor tech problem with her guitar and then somehow lost the will to play, all of her songs were short and way off from anything on her new Cd. Everyone just went home after the concert totally disappointed in her set.

It seemed that half of Broken Social Scene was on stage last week or passing through Winnipeg in the next couple of day...even Apostle of the Hustle was present.

Listening to: Broken Social Scene #7

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Highlights from the past week...

My team and I got invited to attend a coffee house and we all found out that it was a 2hr country music concert....

One community member said to me "When I met you I knew that you are a nice guy, but c'mon with 9/11 and all that I wasn't quite sure if you were okay..."

MEC is out of frisbee's here in winnipeg....for the next three weeks... :>

Some members of my team have lice....

On a very good note - I LOVE this job! It's sooooooooooo much fun - should one really be paid to have this much fun? I know that I have put 16-18 hr days since the 7th of Sept but it's soooooo much fun.....


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I'm back!

After 12 days of almost no contact with the real world -and on my return I have found out that the world is a better place....

George W. Bush has actually apologized on behalf of his government for the Katrina response.
Ralph Klien is ACTUALLY giving $400 back to every man, woman and child because of oil prices.
Americans finally want to leave America and will pay 134billion to get off their ass and on too the moon. Where they can finally find some WMD.

My grass is cut....

AND my new stranded alone in the desert ipod station is slowly arriving in the mail. I will tell you more about it when all the pieces finally arrive.


Saturday, September 10, 2005

Away from it a while

I am going to be away for the next week and a bit to co-ordinate some training for my job.

No internet, no phone and no contact with the outside world. Going to love it!

On another side note: Tonite I went to a backyard community bonfire - it's so amazing that people just mutually get together for a drink, a roast and laugh. All good clean fun. Plus watching the moving and colourful Aurora Borealis is always a plus in these rural parts of Manitoba.

Have a good week and I hope the world becomes a better place on my return.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Manitoba Hydro

I live alone in....
a small four bedroom house
a small rural town
a 24hr on call ridiculously fun job
a lonely world for someone like me.

With nobody to share any reponsibilites with...if I am not there to do it, it simply doesn't get done... I missed recycling day 3 times in a row because I have been away and so my green box is now covered with soy boxes instead.....

On a similar note.

I spent the last two days in the nearby town of Brandon getting my first aid certificate and planning an orientation camp for work. On my arrival home I spotted a note on my door saying that the Hydro has been turned off...
I walked into my house and immediately grabbed the phone to recitfy the situation only to find that my cordless phone needs power, my laptop is still dead after staring at for 5 minutes and...this just gets better... almost all the food in my fridge has gone bad.

After minutes of phoning everyone connected with Manitoba Hydro and being transferred to every town in Manitoba [while my cell phone battery is dying] my friend told me that the company was located 5 minutes down the road. After a mad dash and a short discussion - it seemed that the last tenant in my haunted house didn't pay the hydro bill so they decided to cut it off. They apologized for the inconvience and I was told to go wait in my house for a couple hours until a worker came to reconnect me.

That was only 1/4 of my day and it seems to be getting worse and more fun by the hour.


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Another Random Trip + Mike from Regina!

A desert in rural Manitoba.
Spruce Woods

With three visitors in the past week from Toronto my life has been very busy.
The most recent one was my friend RJ. RJ is an urban planner from Toronto who now works for the big evil corporations :> and he was really interested in seeing the historical parts of Winnipeg and Manitoba. So this is what an average day looked liked:

Spruce Woods Provincial Park - 4 1/2 hr trek - a desert! I love deserts!
Lunch in Brandon - 2hrs
Camping at Riding Mountain National Park - TRUE STORY at 4:ooam
"RJ did you hear that"
"That rumbling did you hear that?"
"Oh - that's my stomach - I'm a bit hungry"
long silence - then a loud snap
"Then what was that?"
"I don't know maybe a bear, their was a sign out there warning us about bears..."
"Maybe it's not a bear - let's just go to sleep"
Another long silence
"RJ what do bears like?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do they like to eat?"
"Do they like pepper mints?"
"Of course they like pepper mints they go for the leaves all the time..."
"I have some pepper mints in my..."
"In my jacket that I am using for a pillow..."

We made a mad dash for the car and spent the rest of nite sleeping in my vehicle of mass destruction. With no traces of bear in sight the next morning.

Drove to Minnedosa
Breakfast in Dauphin
Quick layover in Yorkton
Regina Bi-Centennial Celebration + City Tour
Bumped into Regina Mike! Seriously what are the odds especially when I posted about him last week.
Bushwakkers - 15 Beer Sampler + their new exotic Centennial Beer -soooooooo good.
Drove back to Portage
40hr trip and I was totally exhausted...tooo much driving

I must know by every significant and useless history of every building in winnipeg....tooo many tours. Thanks RJ - you are the man!

Listening: Adam's Curry Daily Source Code

Thursday, September 01, 2005

"The Alchemist" + Regina Folk Festival

One of my mates gave me a call from Regina last nite to thank me for lending him "The Alchemist"
He said the book changed his life and he wrote a review on it for his magazine. I still can't believe that a book that I got in India for $3 has now travelled all the way to the prairies and has been reviewed by a major Cdn magazine. That whole process of globilization really scares and excites me.

On another note my friend was disappointed that I missed him in Regina last week.

Even more disappointed that I didn't see him taking pictures of Sarah Harmer on stage for his magazine. I told him I was sorry for not spotting him - but I was mesmerized by Mr[s]? Harmer... It sucks though as he spent the whole weekend hangin out with all the musicians and it would have been nice to share a laugh with The Weakertons as I hear they are a bunch of good folk.

And was he even more disappointed that I did a random road trip to the big muddy last week- since he is heading there this weekend for a dig and he would have love the company...

Ah! Too many paths not enough single lane roads.


Listening to:
CBC Podcast Episode #15 [there are no strikes in the podcast world :>]
Controller Controller - History.
The lead singer Nirmala is just to hot... and is always doing something really funky...

Good website. Good idea. Good shit.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Why complain? It's a good nite...

On Sunday night I drove my car down a dirt road - layed down on the hood and watched the ever changing Aurora Borealis while listening to "Fix you"

It's a good nite.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Random Road Trip

A friend came in from Toronto and we took a random road trip to the Big Muddy Valley.
I'll let the picture speak for itself and I will write more tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


I got over 5 comments on my last post...all linked to spam. I like comments but not spam comments...

Is my site that popular that people feel the need to link it to garbage?

Or is my site garbage that other people feel the need to actually link it to other garbage?

So fellow spammer reveal yourself and we can meet under the bell tower here in Portage at midnite. To discuss garbage and fair trade coffee....Bring your blackberry and I will bring my pod...


Listening to Jason Collett "Brownie Hawkeye"

Monday, August 22, 2005

My friend Dan sent me this cartoon. reminds me of Fox news.


Cutest couple.

I just spent 1/2hr with chatting with a really cute couple. This couple have been married for over 25 years and they live on a picturesque farm [horses included] on the outskirts of Portage. It's an interacial couple and they are both retired teachers - the smile on this man's face is worth more than a thousand words.

I enjoyed every minute of that meeting.

As I was leaving he shouted out if I would like to go fishing with him on Thursday. I didn't hesitate for a second...the infectious smile went to my brain as I was pulling out of the driveway and it didn't really fade until I was back in my office at my desk.


Saturday, August 20, 2005

You seriously can't make this shit up....

To add more humor to my shitty day I found out another reason to not make enemies in this world.

My ex girlfriend and I meet in India about a year ago and she just came back from volunteering for 6 months in Sri-Lanka at an elephant orphange. We decided things were not really working out from the long distance relationship and from other crazy factors and we called it quits after 6 months. Things ended mutually and we occasionaly send each other some updates on how we are doing... now and then...

But let me work out our schedule for the next 6months to make you laugh:

Jam is from Toronto + Jam is living in Manitoba + contract work = moving to Sri Lanka in Dec for work.

Girl is from Oxford, UK + currently travelling in Mexico, Australia + planning to volunteer = Sri Lanka at the elephant orphange

But the elephant orphange happens to be in the EXACT same town I am going to in Dec.

Seriously what are the freaking odds!!!
This globlization of travilization is crazy...


Friday, August 19, 2005

Today I feel like shit...

It's one of those days in which I don't want to get out of bed. Its amazing how you can feel like your life is in order one day and the next day it's all messed up. I feel so messed up.

One of my relatives is sick and I packed my bags last nite and almost hopped on two planes to get home. Now other things in my life are starting to spur up.

To many issues only one Jam.


Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Rainy Prairie Mix

It's raining here again today in the Prairies. So I created this lovely rainy mix for my jamopod.
Bloemfontein is perfect for a rainy day.

Prologue The Most Serene Republic Underwater Cinematographer
Please_Abide_By_Spiritual_Triumphs Bloemfontein Winter 2005 [to download this free song]
Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl Broken Social Scene You Forgot It In People
In The Waiting Line Zero 7 Garden State Soundtrack
Samba é Amor Bebel Gilberto Tanto Tempo
Blue Sky Jason Collett

Response to the email.

Referring back to the "bad dating situation in Winnipeg" I had to respond to her email. Well truth be told I really didn't want to have anything to do with this women and just deleted her email without reading and sent her a two line response:

Thanks for the warning about the email. Didn't read it - just deleted it.

Will continually prayer for the spirit to guide you.


After going through all of this I still really like this girl and it's better for me to stay far away. There is an old saying in the carribean "Good from far - but far from good"

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Ride the ttc party

Ride the TTC Party. If nobody is busy tonite, then this would be the ulitmate party in Toronto.


Monday, August 15, 2005

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Winnipeg is soooo small - bad dating situation

About two weeks ago this girl and I mutually decided to break off from seeing each other. I was quite happy about ending it as I really liked her but things were just in the phase were it needed to be let go. She was confused about other things in her life and I wanted to make sure she had other issues figured out.

What happened after really shocked me.
I found out she was breaking off for another reason:
She was interested in somebody else and did some shit with him
and she later told me in the same conversation that I was physical unattractive [Do people still do that?]

I mean who tells somebody that? What is the general reason behind someone telling you this?
Well we departed on some complicated terms...this situation pissed me off for a couple hours and bizzarely after two days my soul was at peace and I have been mostly laughing and pondering about all this mess.

Then today it happened. I drove to the video store to quickly drop off a video and when I turned around there she was...
We both starred at each other for a couple seconds in shock. Then it all went soooo slow. [Why does time slow down for these moments...I will never know]
Then she mumbled off something about an email she sent off a couple minutes ago and that I should read it. I showed her the DVD rentals of "The office" and told her I should go and then quickly left.

15 secs that felt like an eternity.

But what are the flipping odds of us meeting? With 600,000 people that live in Winnipeg what are the odds really? Abe you must know this one.


Monday, August 08, 2005

I love Toronto!

Just spent the week camping with friends in Bon Echo and it was awesome! I just love nature and canoeing beside tall jagged cliffs.

Toronto feels a bit weird, because it's hot and I don't remmber being in the city when it's this hot. My friends usually associates me with winter coats, because I am always travelling or away during the summer and it's bizarre to think I am here in August for the time in 8-9 years. Really bizarre!

Hope you all have a good week. I am off to work and meetings and meetings.


Thursday, August 04, 2005

I rarely put jokes online but this is really funny :>

George CARLIN said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I feel a lot
safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still
walking around; Osama Bin Laden too. But they take the one woman in
America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and haul her ass off
to jail."

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Tribute to Steven Vincent

You will know the truth and the truth shall set you free?

Dedication to finding truth is rare.
It's easier for us to believe the lie.
Thanks Steven for risking your life.


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Sarah Harmer

I finally took some time off from work and did the 5hr drive to Regina for the Regina Folk Festival.

The journey was pretty fun as I travelled with a really cool group from Winnipeg and we stopped and had a picnic on the Manitoba/Saskatchewan border. At one point we made the ladies in the other car upset with a prank that we pulled. So in trying to be good guys we apologized in style, we stopped at the side of the road ran out of the car and picked up some wild flowers. Then we drove up to them and presented it to them with a big sign on the back of my frisbee that said "Sorry"

The absolutely loved it and were laughing at how funny it was...and now my frisbee is named "Sorry"

Before we hit the Festival we stopped at "Bushwakers" and tried their 12 beer sampler while describing the contents in various accents. It's so rare to find a pub that brew over 12 beers on site and offer samples so it was really a treat for me.

Finally got to the Folk Festival and it was really awesome! The festival was in a park in the middle of the city and it was soooo mellow...

Sarah Slean really impressed me but nobody could touch Sarah Harmer that night she was really mezmorizing and truly a great musician. She closed with Lodestar and well that made my night...

Apparently I found out later she walked right by me as I was playing with my Diablo. Crap. I need to pay more attention to the world around me.


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Blogs i am tired of them and bad pics...

I got an email from a friend yesterday and it rang some warning bells in me. If some of my friends don't here from me in a while they really start to wonder "whereintheworldisjam?".

To make this seem short: I have been in Portage and really don't plan on leaving here for quite a while except for some training and camping in Toronto next week.

What I have been upset about is some of blogs that I read from a recent travelling trip. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that's why blogs rule the world. But a couple weeks ago I saw a group photo of an acquaintance and some homeless people on a blog. He's on a trip that I am consulting and we have some pretty strict rules on photography.

The photo was just crude. It's him pointing to a homeless kid and making a sad face, then he had a series of photo's holding various street kids.

This really made me upset and in three weeks I have pretty much calmed down.

I know some of those street kids from the past two years and they are just pimps for money, foreigners buy them food so business people in the area like to keep them around. They are good for the economy. In May I spent almost every nite out on the chai stand drinking and chatting with people from Kolkata. The look on a locals face as they see a foreigner playing with a child is one of disgust, taking a picture is even worse. One group went even further and took their video camera into the ghetto and videotaped the area, that even they brought it back to the chai stand and spent hours showing how "brave" they were to the other volunteers. They spent more time talking about their trip than acutally doing it. They also never spent anytime helping the people in that ghetto.

It felt that they were abusing the poor and the locals agreed with me.

I think their is ignorance and abuse that comes from taking someone's picture incorrectly. This pitcture had no genuine heart and it's so insulting to the people in India.

Take it as you wish...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


Just got invited by Oxfam to help with the Make Trade Fair campaign at their concert in Toronto....and I can't go!!!

Will still be in Portage, Manitoba for work...doh!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

free love on the freelove freeway + oldboy - oh sooooooooo disturbing

I randomly downloaded this song of the net and it's soooo funny....

It has to be my favourite episode from the bbc's tv series "the office". I crack up anytime somebody mentions it...

So what I am listening to right now and some films I saw last week:

Arcade fire, Postal service, Random songs from the live 8 concert, fascade@137db, bebel gilberto and of course some new coldplay.

Anil's Ghost by Michael Ondaatje - it's about Sri Lanka so I thought it might be revelant to my work

Five point someone - a random book I picked up in Kolkata airport and its really funny


Old Boy: I saw this movie sometime last week and well I shiver everytime I think about it...This movie is the peak of filmaking at it's best. The theme is about revenge and it seriously kicks some ass - No kill bill, sith, man on fire or smurfs allowed anywhere near this film. I love when a film disturbs me on such a deep level like this and it makes my head spin around for day and days on end.

Best part: Oh Daesu actually eats it's a live octupus and passes out...I have a stomach for those things but I was ready to walk out of the cinema. I partially wish I did.

Check out the film @


Wednesday, July 06, 2005

"Citizen of the Year" + more hitchhikers

I picked up a couple of hitchhikers the other day on the way back from Winnipeg and well lo and behold they were from Toronto. So they came over to my place had some tea and we chatted for a bit. I figured there would be at least five degrees of seperation between them and me but no - in a couple minutes after meeting they new a really really good friend - the all mighty Mr. Easton and an old camper/staff. I realized after this meeting that it pays to be good to everyone you know.

I love my job, it's soooooooooooooooooooo much fun and I get to meet interesting people. I spent about 5 hours today chatting and connecting with people from Portage. On Canada day, I volunteered at the kids zone in the community and really enjoyed myself, it was fun working with children - the simplicty of it all is quite amazing. A picnic bench, the lake, tall trees, some paint, cute kids and wondeful parents. I worked with this amazing women who introduced me to everyone in the community and I found out later that she was "Citizen of the Year"

I never knew they ever had citizen of the year. I thought it was a myth. wow.

I was really honoured to be working with such a humble and honest women. She always had a smile on her face and was constantly busy helping everyone. Today she was amazing, she somehow managed to track my phone number through someone at CityHall and had someone from their call me to donate furniture for my empty place. I was so moved, I was speechless.

She truly is "Citizen of the Year"

I love having people I could look up to...

Peace from the prairies

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Otesha + group of bikers in my house

I love having a big house. I have a key underneath the mat and I always tell folks and friends to come on in make a sandwich, take a nap and we might eventually bump into each other.
So my Manitoba buddy Bequie phoned me a couple nites ago and told me that some cross country cyclist needed a place to sleep. I immediately said "yes" then I found out it was 15 people +

Shit. I love testing my ability to host 15 eco bikers and juggle a bit of work.

The group "Otesha" can be best summed up as some hard core eco's that really love this planet. Some of the niciest cyclist I ever met and they really live out what they preach.

Website is:

If they are in your hood you should definitely give them a place to crash.


Back on the internet

It's weird not being connected to the internet. I can't do my job, can't stay in contact with some of my friends and well I can't even update my blog. The service provider MTS was suppose to install internet and a phone last week but messed up big time, however they were really nice and gave me free dial-up for the month until they install a phone line in my house.

Now I can surf the internet and I really appreciate the power of high speed, even though I love the crazy creaky noise of an ISP connection...


Saturday, June 25, 2005

In Portage la...

I arrived in Portage on Thursday afternoon and by Friday afternoon I rented a house, opened a bank account, purchased up all the amenities - phone, internet, utilities etc AND got most of the basic furniture and food.

This job was sooooo made for me.

The best news is that the local charity shop had a one year 75% off sale yesterday and it was just the best timing in the world. I got all the basic needs for the kitchen + some really funky furniture for under $80. My place looks awesome, almost as good as toronto. I miss the advice of my old flatmate Tom - he had style.

Speak to you all soon when internet gets connected to my pad.


Wednesday, June 22, 2005

In winnipeg and sharing a poem

Got into winnipeg this morning and I already like this city. My friend greeted me at the airport, and we drove through some of the art areas and visited a really nice cafe. I loved it. I will be spending most of my time off here for sure.

On a sad note, I overslept and missed my friends dance show...but I was glad to get some much needed R and R today before i start work tomorrow.

During my training in Montreal last week I did a poetry workshop which really changed my life. I was able to find a way to express some of the hidden feelings that I have had in the past couple weeks in the form of poetry. It was really scarry and I wanted to stop, but it was the challenge and the nuturing community that kept me going.[Thanks Mike, Laura and Bequie]
The exercise involved the use of random words being thrown together with fast writing. This poem was written in less than 2 minutes, literally off the top of my head.

I don't write poetry - and if you know me some of my best mates are gay. If you really want to know my headspace then read my blog during the "fun" months of May.

Crazy Naked

Aids makes me nervous in a happy way,
who subtracts death from life with no conflict, no conscious, no guilt
it ranks on my all time low -
for who immigrates with Aids in a never ending lawless country with
God for an anarchist and fags as the devil.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

youth hostel montreal

so training finished yesterday and i spent the rest of the night hanging with friends in montreal. a really beautiful city...the people are much more livelier here than in toronto and a good beer selection to tout! i really enjoyed the training and it was really amazing to spend time with such wonderful people.

now back to toronto for some inida meetings, catch up with some friends and some even better beer.


i love hostel internet stations they are so awkard to type on

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Hey all,

Sorry for the late blog, In Orford, Montreal for training and therer is no email service. So I had to borrow the computer office.
Well it`s really really nice here, if you have never been you should Google Orford and check it out.

Have to go..can`t wait to be back near email and my mobile phone.

Wait I really like it here the people are all like me and the training is amazing. I really feel like I am in a slice of heaven.


Saturday, June 11, 2005

Going to Montreal....and transition

I thought this year my brit favourite album would be Bloc Party's Silent Alarm but after hearing Coldplay's X and Y there simply is no contest. Track 4 is just incredible and it's sort of been a healing song for me. Yesterday I went for a walk in the park listening to the album and the transition from culture to culture is becoming easier.

However I still have questions.

I don't know if there will ever be an answer but life moves on...and I have to move with it.

I am leaving in 2 hours for a train ride to Montreal for some training for my new job. I am really excited because our supervisors from all across Canada will be joining me in Orford for a week.

Can't wait for the woods, the people and some good camp food. oh yeah and frisbee...


Wednesday, June 08, 2005

New Coldplay album...

The new coldplay album is awesome! I can't believe it came out in time with the's such a good summer album!!!!!!!! I almost walked into traffic today it was sooo good.

Book: Alchemy of Desire - will update you all on it.

Back in Toronto

After a 30 hr travel from Kolkata, I am back in Toronto. I have to admit that the weather in Toronto is really nice, everyone is wearing bright clothes and it's good to drink Canadian beer. I have been in training in Toronto for a new job that I just started and it's really amazing to be in the same room as people who are like minded - it's really awesome.

I have a couple days off next week and I am going to use it to reflect on my time in Kolkata. India this year really stretched me, it was really hard. In some ways I wish I never went... because I am really pyschologically messed up and physically tired. Only time will tell on the lessons I learnt...

It's also good to start blogging some more...way more to come...


Friday, June 03, 2005

Back from Darjeeling

Calcutta feels like home, I am simply blessed to be in this city. It's a hard place for me to serve because I am currently learning new things all the time about myself. I am going back to Kalighat today to serve for the last time this year and I know it will be hard. I hope my friend "number 38" is alive but that is a selfish hope, because it's something I want. What I should really hope for is that he is gone to heaven where he wanted to go...I think he is Hindu so I don't know what heaven is like for him...

Anyway its my last day in calcutta before I fly back to Toronto and I want to say goodbye to the friends I meet here...actually with me it's not goodbye but instead "see ya later"...


Tuesday, May 31, 2005

off to Darjeeling

Going to spend a couple days in the mountain with my team on a little debrief...will right something very soon...


Sunday, May 29, 2005

Number 38

One of the reasons I feel this way about Jesus is because of the man who lives at Kalighat. He is patient "number 38" and he's been there for over a year and a half. When I first saw him I remmbered him from last year and was shocked to find out that he was still here...He made a hard request that he just wants to die. He has found no purpose in life after the stroke.

It made me flash to everything that I have done in my life in the past 9 months: finishing school, got a job - and several in between, travelling and working in over 4 countries in the past 5 months... and then there is this man who simply hasn't moved a couple metres in a year...physically and mentally...

I am so confused by the craziness of it all that I don't know what to say or do...
But simply ask the question...why is this allowed to happen? Where is this Jesus guy everyone talkes about and if God is in control then why allow this to happen? If God is not in control then it's not God's fault and somethings are just beyond him?

Lost and confused

I simply don't understand...where is Jesus?

Before you read this post, I wanted to make it know..I am not Christian, Hindu or Islamic. I have friends who are extrememly religious and some that really don't give a shit about God. I am in between...I love the Bible and God but really really hate religion, it's been this way for over 5 years and I one day I hope to "grow" up in it all.

Today I heard a disturbing scream and Kalighat and on the way to investigate I found my friend "stumpy" in pain. There is a new HOLE in his right arm that the hospital doctors put in him before they sent him back to Kalighat. Well this new nurse is actually doing a pretty good with the bruises on his arm, yesterday the Japanese nurse didn't quite clean the wound and I had to step in to help cuts off certain infected skin. The nurse today was really getting in the wound and was seriously concerned about this patient - hence the pain. While he was screaming, my hands were on his knees praying to my God and hoping this his God answers....

But in the midst of all his screaming I wondered where is Jesus? Why is he still in pain? He doesn't look even one bit comforted by my prayers...but in some serious pain...

It's funny how Jesus shows up at certain moments, like today as we wanted to catch a bus back to the Sudder Street area, the first bus we saw happened to be the right one. There was Jesus, according to the travellors I was with...
I got back to the hotel and we had some really good food, he was with us for lunch because someone prayed...we ate good because of Jesus.

But where was he when "stumpy" was around in pain? Does the christian Jesus exist for people like him? It should but I guess not today...I feel really powerless knowing that something could be done but instead there is nothing's not practical at all....I am so confused and hurt by all of this...


Thursday, May 26, 2005

cost of raping a life....

After I left the internet cafe yesterday I was approached by a man on Sudder Street that I haven't seen before. Now after staying on Sudder Street for almost 3 weeks you tend to recognize everyone who is there or should be there, you get a weird vibe when you see someone who doesn't belong in the area.
Well this man started to whispher something about women to me and I just kept walking. I stopped myself and wondered what is the price? As soon as I stopped it was like inviting the whole street to my conversation as people appeared out of nowwhere and stood beside me listening to the prices.
This old man with no front teeth said this to me in PERFECT english...which made me wonder how man times this sad conversation has taken place...
1000Rs [30cdn] for one women
and 5000 Rs [120 cdn] for a child. He said the last part while street kids were playing right behind him...

I told him this isn't for me my friend and he should find a better line of work and simply walked away...

What I should have done was grab him by the shirt and said how far do you want my indian sandals to go up your ass?

I guess I just don't have the guts... 4months in kolkata in total and some things still shock me...
5000rs [120cdn]for a kid, someone is going to get abused and it's sad that the outcome is going to be the child.


Tuesday, May 24, 2005

3 1/2 days in bed

I spent the past 3 1/2 days in bed, I honestly don't remmber the last time that has happened. Apparently through this whole ordeal I have had an allergic reaction to the hot weather and pollution, plus if you add my sinus cold [which I found out I had for the first time in my life two days] it made one nasty bug. Yesterday I started to take some medicine for it and....wait did you say medicine?

My friends and family are probably trying to figure out a way of contact me right now , to find out if I am REALLY okay or if the cold has seriously affected my brain.

I don't take medicine, it's not because I hate it. It's because I believe that my body can heal itself and that we can rely tooo much on medicine as a permanent cure.

Well the doctor I went to two days told me the exact thing and gave me a series of long natural workouts and some drugs. This is the list:

Nose drops: 2-3 times a day
Gargle Warm water: 2-3 times a day
Hot water steam cleansing: 2-3 times a day. This technique is sooooo amazing that I volunteered the activity as a team event last nite. We all ended up sitting around the table inhaling hot vapour fumes and listening to some chilled music, it was a good team building experience.
1 Allegra everytnite: I don't like taking this tablet as it is made by the evil aventis corporation but so far it has no ill effects excepts bad speaking and speling.

Total time for all of this 1hr +

Getting well must be a big business.


Book that I am currently reading....

One of my chai friends on Sudder street also happens to be the locally owner of a bookshop and recommended a couple books for me to read.

Tales of a female nomad: The story about a woman who had it all in L.A. and decided that life wasn't fullfilling enough. She packed up and hit the road - not to travel but to live with people around the world. Really honest and sincere, she lives the life that most of us are too scared to even dream about. Including me.


Sunday, May 22, 2005

Very sick...

For the past two days I have been in bed with a serious cold, headache, fever and a very very bad cough. I hate being sick but it's part of reality. I started to wander around sudder street about 1/2hr ago and I still feel terrible.

A couple notes:

Cindy Happy Birthday - you know wherever in the world I am at - you are always in my heart. I love you siste'

On some fluff moments:
Saw star wars --- man I could have combusted in my seat it was sooooo good.
Best line ever was when Anakin said to Obi "If you are not with me, you are with the enemy" Obi replied "I don't deal with absolute truth" then the light saber battle of all time started. I swear I almost lost ten years of my life and I don't think I have a reason to go to the cinema anymore.

On another hard moment: My friend "stumpy" the male patient that had his fingers amputated - sorry for the joke but if you don't make humor at this place you can lose it quickly. I was massaging him on friday when I noticed some puss leaking from a small wound, on closer inspection I found it to be a dog bite and I quickly called the nurse over. She anazlyzed the bite and was really confused and asked the patient when he got bit. He answered weakly about 4 months ago. After a series of discussion they had no treatment for him here and would have to send him to a hosptial but it doesn't look good. A four month bite that is still leaking puss even I knew that he was going to die. Nursing someone to death is really hard.

Peace to all and to all be peace

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Thanks for the support

In the past 24 hours I have recieved over a dozen emails from people that I know and don't know regarding my string of latest posts. I want to thank you all for your support and encouragement. Today is a day off for the team and for all the volunteers at Mother Theresa's and I am going to treat it as a time of refreshment. Now I am going to go enjoy a cold mango lassi and try to read a book. For some bizarre reason I can't finish any of the books that I have purchased, all three of them. The last one "The monk who sold his ferrai" just made me feel really impatient and I flipped straight to end. I found this really amusing as the book is about patience and self discovery. Probably I should sell my ipod and get a cd player, that will teach me wil just increase my luggage.


Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I really don't know what to's horrid

I am going to be honest and say that I NEVER ever share really personally stories or events. Most of you that know me know why, but today I am going to share something really really personally. India this year is really stretching me, more than last year and I feel an obligation to express this.

Yesterday at Kalighat they brought a man in on a tarp and while my friend Ryan and I were doing dishes he looked at me and said "That doesn't look good" I carried on doing dishes, it's one of my favourite past times. After dishes I went to wash my hands and head upstairs for chai and to call it a day. On my way to the roof a long term volunteer yelled out for me to help him pick up this old man. I came over to pick him up and well he really started to smell. I looked at him and realized that he just had a shower, so where is this rotting smell coming from?

I noticed he had a bandage on his hand but it looked like a normal kalighat wound. We eventually found him a bed and a nurse came to undress the bandage. What I saw can't really be described, but I will try... The skin off his hand was gone, you can put your fingers through his bones, tons of maggots, rotting black skin and the strong smell of dead flesh. I was shocked, even the nurse was shocked by the extent and she has been working there for over 10 years... I called Ryan over quickly and told him to comfort this man. I then held his hand and watched in horror as they gave him some meds and then tried to save his fingers...

...after pulling out all the maggots, they realized that they couldn't save his fingers... they were dead and too badly infected so they just started cutting them off one by one until there was nothing left. They bandaged up his hand and all that was left was a stump. I prayed that he would make it through the nite. I saw him today and he looked better but I really wouldn't be able to tell the long term effect for a while.

What really affected me out of all of this happened today. On my back from kalighat I saw an old man walking slowly with a stump in his arm. On his arm I saw a plastic bag around he definitely was homeless. I wanted to bend down and touch his feet and bless him, my heart went out to him...but instead I gave him my water bottle made the sign of peace and walked on. I feel horrid, I feel like the worst man in the world, I felt like I really didn't learn anything from Kalighat yesteday...who am I? what am I?

I hope that understanding and patience will make me grow into a more caring individual. I hope.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Going to take a break from blogging for a day....

It's been an easy day today - volunteering, logisitics and I even had a meal that wasn't curry. Who eats beans and toast in India. I need some time to will post another virtual thought tomorrow.


BTW>>> I have had over 500 actually hits on my site in the past 15 days - that's crazy!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Why another hard day?

I don't understand why the days are getting harder? Is faith trying to teach me something? Today I went to volunteer at a place called Daya Dan and well it's a hard place for me. I volunteered there 2 years ago for a couple days and I couldn't handle seeing over 30 special need kids in one place. Today I volunteered to take some members of the team to Daya Dan forgetting the impact that place has on me.

I have been working with kids since I was 14 years old but this place just overwhelmed with the amount of suffering? joy? and there was only 3 volunteers when I was serving and the demands were high - washing, slipping in piss, feeding and it was really difficult. After three straight days it just wasn't me.

I don't think I am wuss because early today I was working on a dressing in which a kids foot just got sliced off, bone included and I just sat there and was helping cut infected skin. One of my friends came by and just stared at me and said " I have been in India for 9 months and I thought I saw everything but this is new" Then he went outside I think to puke. People were really disgusted by what they saw but I kept working and my main thought was on how much this kid was suffering.

So I don't think I am wuss, life is throwning me this challenge today and I realized that kids have a strong impact on me. From brothels, abused special needs and....and...well the next thing I am sure to find...hopefully not tomorrow.


Saturday, May 14, 2005

Team is here...and a last breath...

My team from Canada arrived yesterday morning and it's been a bit crazy since they arrived. I didn't sleep the nite before for some bizarre reason, also because my 2Cdn room has a little window, small fan [that actually creates heat] and is actually shorter than me - that's right I bump my head on the ceiling. It's a really small room. So I was happy to move to the another hotel that has a proper fan and air-con - literally the best invention that HUMANS created. When I am in Trinidad I hate it but when the newspaper report 39 degress with humidity being 97% - the aircon is my friend.

The team is doing really well and I like them, they all volunteered this morning and for some it was really intense.

This morning I was helping with dressing patients who have bruises. Now these aren't normal bruises, most of the patients have been rejected from hospitals so there brusises are unique, anything from a whole the size of your fist in a head to a foot just cut clean off. While I was helping to dress a patient I noticed a patient beside me who looked like he was about to die, he was on a respirator and breathing slowly. I said a silent prayer for him and continued on to work with the nurse and patient. After we finished I went over to check his pulse and I couldn't find it anywhere, hands, neck, etc... He just passed away while I was helping somebody else. I jsut sat there is awe for a minute and then called the nurse over. She checked and we then closed his eyes. It was scarry to think that those eyes once had life less than 5 minutes ago and now it's empty.

I have to go the last couple days have been intense...and I don't like fluff writing...and well I must report back to these "North American" emails and there demands...I wish people would understand - but what they don't see most don't care about.


Wednesday, May 11, 2005


The event that really disturbed me two days ago was a visit to the red light districts in Kolkata. In the past couple years I have visited alot of red-light districts in different countries Toronto, Morrocco, Amsterdam etc etc and have been disgusted by the darkness of it all. My spider-sense goes out the window.

Kolkata was the worst one I have ever seen, even before I got out the taxi - in broad daylight [I only go to this places in daylight] pimps were already pushing and bartering for me. It was crazy so crazy that I put my ipod earphones on and pretended not to hear anything at all. People were following me for over 10 minutes. I walked straight to the Dispensary Charity Clinic and asked how my team can help. After a long discussion and a long delay I left for a tour, I saw girls that couldn't have been older than 18 lined up against the wall and my friend said that they have been working here for over 5 years.

I asked what was the cost for a girl.

The answer was 100 R.S.

I mean 100 R.S. in my mind that was 2.50Cdn...for less than the price of Big Mac you can rape a girl...

I hate big Macs and I hate this...

To make matters worse I view the conditions in which they live and it was worse than a slum and then I heard the voices of children in the background and almost vommited. Children were being pimped.

This has really left a scar on me, I really questioned it all. I got up yesterday morning, did some FreedomzieIndia work... ate some chicken soup [from the advice of a friend] an went to sleep. I slept, wrestled with it all from 11:30am to 4:30am. I really wanted to leave India this morning, but Faith has a bigger plan here for me.

I am not catholic but I went to mass this morning and I feel alot better. I know that their is alot of work to be done in me before the day is over.

Love you all

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

the hot weather

According to the newspaper it's going to be 40 today, I wish that was true but it's not even close. It's 9am and it already feels like 35 - I think that it might be 50 today.

On another note I saw something really horrific yesterday that really put a scar in me, hopefully I will be able to discuss it but I need time to digest it.


Volunteering and Chai

Right before bed time it's natural to go and have a chai on the street corner with some of the other volunteers and travellors. You usually end up having good conversation ranging from volunteering, politics, weather, diarrhea etc...etc.. I really enjoy it because some of the volunteers, travellors are all from different countries around the world so they have pretty unique perspectives especially on diarrhea.

Last nite was a little different as I ended up speaking with some Univeristy Students from India, we chatted until 2:00am about everything under the sun, until I realized the sun has been down for a while...the streets were really really quiet and everyone was asleep.

For the second nite in a row I was the last one to go to sleep on Sudder Street.

On another note I got over 40 emails today, the most I have ever recieved in 24 hours and I just responded to everyone, man I am to volunteer


Sunday, May 08, 2005

India Work

I decided to take a 20 minute nap which magically got extended into a 6 hour power nap. I didn't realized that I was so exhausted from the day and the heat. I couldn't go to sleep last and so I ended up walking around Calcutta late last nite for a couple hours then I found this 24hr cafe and just sat down and did work on my laptop for 3-4 hours.

The cafe was really funny, there was a Dj spinning really old Prince, Marley and then threw in some Random India beats in the middle.

Finished all my work around 4am and just went back to my room to sleep.

Best thing that happened yesterday was when I saw to kids driving down the street in a rickshaw so I told them to get in the back and I would drive. It was soooooo hard and I almost hit a car, thank God the streets were empty. Those kids were really scarred and I was laughing the whole time. Now you know why I am not a parent.

Going to spend some time in the slums today. Don't know what to expect, but it's India so there is always curry involved.


Feeling much better...must be the curry

My friend Paul convinced me last nite to have chips and curry...blah...actually it was pretty good. It has to be the oil, the same oil that use for the fries must be in the curry.

You might think that is a weird combination but it's not compared to what my friend has a couple days ago in England - Chips, Cheese and Curry. I don't understnad the English and food, they expect to mix food with no flavours and get flavour?!

On another note, feeling much better today and spent the day volunteering at the Mother House. I felt really honoured to be volunteering there, even though I saw the most horrid micro surgery being done today. One of the patients testicles swelt up today to the size of a mini football and it was really bruised and infected. I have never seen the inside of a testicle before and...well it's not a pretty picture. The volunteer/staff nurse from Germany knew what to do and so I watched/helped and well...I don't want to see that again. But I know I will be there bright and early tomorrow morning.

Oh! Happy Mothers Day MOM. I love you.

love de' son

Friday, May 06, 2005

In India.

Well I arrived yesterday morning and alot of happen to me since my fight.

This cold caught up with me from England and well I have been out of commission for the past couple hours. I volunteered at the Mother House yesterday for about an hour but left early because I couldn't concentrate + I didn't want to infect the patients. The cold was so bad that I went to bad at 1:45pm and woke up at 5:00am.

The other funny news is that I bumped into my friend Paul who I travelled with for 2 weeks last year. I saw him on the street in Calcutta and that actually shocked me, he is the last person in the world I would have expected to see - my mom showing up wouldn't have surpised me this much. We figured out that we haven't seen each other in 8 months. Can you believe it's been 8 months since I went back to Canada? My whole life in Canada flashed before my eyes and it was impossible for me to tell him everything that I have done since September.

Paul has been travelling in India for about 9 months and is one of the funniest english blokes I have ever met. If any of my friends remmeber me telling the story about the English and Japanese guys travelling together, well I am going to share one. Everyday we would teach the Japanese guy - Kogi [did I spell that write] a new english word. Like "wanker" or "bollocks" and this guy would look it up in his Engish - Japanese was sooo funny. The best time ever during the trip is when Paul convinced Kogi that Guiness didn't originate from Ireland but came from the town of Guine in Japan. These guys should have their own sitcom.

I should go and try to kill this cold. I feel like a big baby.


Music, Books and other current thingys...

Currently listening to the Garden State Soundtrack:

Good selection of music and well Thievery Corporation is as close to India as I like, another band I am listening to right now is Bloc Party - I love the british. They make albums as oppose to most North American bands that just turn out singles.

Book I am reading is:

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, started reading it in Oxford only to find out in India that the writer is from Oxford. So far the book is brutally honest and very different than anything I have read in a while.

In India I always find myself reading in my spare time and I usually finish a book a week. So I will definitely keep you posted on what my brain is intaking.


Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Crazy times in London!

Yesterday I spent my whole day in Oxford so today i did something new..
I spent most of my time down on SouthBank in London. It's an area that I have been visiting for the past three years but I never got to the do the essential tourist things - like visit the Tate Gallery, London eye and drinking some Guiness in the rated "5 pinter" pub.

Tate was awesome, I mean really awesome - a really diverse set of private collections and themes...body/art..there collections of Picasso's and Warhols are good, but can't even touch MOMA in new york. I really enjoyed the building it stands out in the skyline.

The London eye was soooooo cool. I have been waiting for over 5 years to go on it and it just didn't disappoint. The day was really cloudy but for some reason it cleared up right around sunset :> So i got the sun setting over London.

Oh! i forget I went to the British museum...going to talk a bit about that later but to sum it up. Impressed by the structure but colonization...DAMN! Everything feels like it should belong back to it's own country not in a museum some 6000 km away.
More on that next week. Doing an awesome experiment - trust me.

I also meet a really cool girl who pretended to be Canadian but is really from America. The story should just end there but it didn't.
Apparently her boyfriend managed to pose as an economics proffessor in China and did a series of lectures at a university until he couldn't handle the heat and bailed out. Never to be allowed in the country again. Well I thought this story was extremely funny and checked it out online and well it's true.

Man this guy just has balls!! I want to meet him.

It's 1:34am must get some sleep

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Oxford, UK

I am currently sitting in my mates flat in Oxford. Sitting in the same clothes that I wore on the over nite plane, AND the same clothes I wore all day Monday. It's Wednesday morning at 12:20. I am tired, I need a shower, a shave and some gummi bears. I don't think I will be receiving any of those tonite.

The grass is greener on the other side of the pond


Sunday, May 01, 2005

Last nite

It was my last nite in the east side apartment :< So what does one do on the last nite?
The same thing I do everytime I have free time, some Jazz, candles, wine and a movie. Rented the christmas special of "the office" DAMN! That was funny, the best part on that DVD was the Golden Globe [TM] Featurette.

Must jet, having the last meal with past, present and future flat mate.


Monday, April 25, 2005

A new day

What is up with this rain? In windsor yesterday it was snowing and rumour has it that the snow is heading to Toronto. Last week it was 25 degrees now we have the possibility of snow - is this normal? Or have we really screwed up the planet.


I have been away from this post for the past couple months and well when you start delaying things it just gets worse.

From March I did a couple interesting things:

Tech Fast in Tobago: One of my mates and I hitchiked around Tobago for 4 days. Sleeping, cooking and playing on the beach, it was alot of fun but it was even crazy to go without email for 4 days! By day three I was freaking out and then the ultimate temptation hit us, as I was walking up a hill on this perfect blue carribean beach in this small fishing village I turned to the right and there it was a 2 imacs starting right back at me! A little carribean internet cafe right on the beach. Damn.

Will post some more stories later. It's 9am and I should be going to get my Visa for India.


Friday, February 18, 2005


Last nite in a pure moment of Bliss I got to see the play that I have been dying to see for the past three years. The last time I saw this play was 2001 in New York and l ordered the CD last year and waited over 2 months for it two arrive. I am sure that my flatmate is glad that I saw it because the CD player can now get a rest from it. So when I arrived 1 1/2 hours early to buy tickets - I just sat down and studied and I totally didn't mind waiting even though the staff kept telling me that I was way toooo early for tickets.

Tick...Tick..Boom is one of the few plays that I can probably just jump on stage and perform the whole thing without blinking - however I heard myself singing the other day for the first time and I am horrendous! My voice is absolutey soooo bad that it can't belive such evil can't exist in a mortal's throat. Singing is definitely not a gift and I admire those that do it.

Another note on seeing plays that you admire is that you can find flaws in it soooo easily - after my brief stint with Theatre in highschool and beyond - I realize when a cue has been missed and when a set stinks. Crap have to go ...going to be late for the office...

Catch you all again...tick...tick...boom!!!!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

A recap of last week - buddhism meditation technique

In my quest to purify my life, I attempted to write down all my thoughts of the day that were sinful. The question that I found myself asking through out the day was "What is sinful' What should be classified as sinful? Well i decided to take the seven sins that were found in the Bible and add a couple more that I thought were important. I found out during the day that I have become a person that I don't like. It was so hard that when I attempted it the second day I got so frustrated with myself that I quit the whole process. Will write more later. Listening to the "Stars" and it's putting me a mellow mode before an exam.

To all be peace, even to those that don't wish it.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

This is very hard...

It's been 4 hours of writing down my thoughts and this is very very hard....

A thoughtful day

As the day begins, I decided to write down everytime I get the urge to sin or sin. It's a technique I learnt in meditation classes in India.

I will write a little report on how everything went tomorrow.


Wednesday, February 02, 2005


I am not a big fan of the tv black box because on Tv today there is nothing really good to watch. I rather be living in reality than watching reality television, sports -seems to be like a soap opera these days as there is more action before and after the game than during it - news - well news can be pretty much twisted, boring, depressing and just false. The only show that has been constant in my life for the past couple years is Fox "24" I was hooked when I stumbled onto a script a couple months before the series aired and well I was still hooked on Figgis "Time Code" and the aberrant, obscure "Hotel". I was hooked line and sinkered for something different- for the past four years 24 has hooked it's claws into me. The pinnacle of watching the show was acheived last Monday as the infectiouness of it got a couple of my friends together we cooked dinner, drank wine, lit candles and discussed the inner workings of 24 which eventually went straight to politics - which I got clobbered on and had to shrink in a corner.... Anyway TV united us in a bizarre way as we spent three hours preparing to watch this one hour show. Ah!!! the madness of it all.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Laptop fixed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a bad bad day and it seems to be getting worse but the one really good news is that I recently got my G4 latop fixed and got a new power adaptor and it works great! I honestly feel like a new bionic arm has been attached to me. I can do almost anything...however with that new arm came alot of rieisipioinisibilitieisi and I have been playing catch up with the work that I would have done with my laptop but it's so nice to bump into old pics and listen to some of my old music that I have forgotten about. It's like discovering a new world in your old one.


Sunday, January 23, 2005

A really hetic week!

My life is usually really busy - sometimes to the point where I am tripled book for lunch and I running in between places. Some people don't believe it but let me share my hours from Sunday to Sunday.

Sunday: Meetings + Church + Meetings -8 Hours - got home a decent hour and worked till late.
Monday: Oxfam-9 hours, went to friends house after to watch "24" and then worked until 1:00am
Tuesday: Oxfam-9 hours and stayed up to 1:00am again just doing work -so COLD outside!
Wednesday:School-5 Hours, Oxfam 2Hours, Friends - 3 1/2 Hours
Thursday: School -6 Hours, Friends Party - was so much fun I ended up staying over for the nite,went to bed at 3:00am and woke up at 6:00am for work.
Friday: Spent 12 hours working on TV show set - was so much fun but really exhausted
Saturday:Spent another 12 hours on set, the crew kept on getting shots of me for the show but then I realized it was because I was wearing funky-warm purple socks :>
Sunday: After three days away I returned home just in time as my friend was pulling in for a lunch meeting - but still haven't eaten lunch and I am off to another meeting in 20 minutes.

I need to slow down,but I love being busy and doing stuff - probably I have a bad case of ADD?

PEace to you all for reading my hetic and semi-boring week.

To readmy oldjournal:

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Snowy Day

Way tooooooo much snow today, it's one of those in which you just want to keep the hot chocolate maker on constant stream, put on some Norah Jones, grab that Narnia series and pull my favourite blanket on the couch with me. Unfortunately all I can do is just imagine what it might feel like. Okay I can't imagine that scenario while sitting in a sterile computer lab at school...and constantly hearing he click, clik, cik noise of the keyboard. That noise can't compare to Norah Jones.


Thursday, January 13, 2005

The beginning of the end.

This is my first blog...even though I have been publishing my thoughts on the internet for the past couple years. I have switched from posting updates on my online journal to having a blog. It's easier for me to setup and control it's the end of my online journal but the beginning of a new era in blog.

My old blog is: