Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Late to meet the nuns...

Sitting here at the internet cafe where i have been "living" for the past 2 weeks. Since I started helping the nuns co-ordinate some of their volunteer orientation - I have been a man on the move. Visiting centres, taking pictures, meeting new nuns, asking questions and compliling them all on the computer...

I miss my laptop for all of this...but apparently it died in transit from Sri Lanka to Toronto and is sitting at home waiting to be inspected by Mr. Jam.

1 more printout and then I can head to the Mother house and finalize all the prints for the project!

Then I am off to the monastery for a month! So excited about it all!!!!
I really need to leave Calcutta ..I love it but it's already been a month and I need to move for a while...

Peace and Blessings
Jam

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Bollywood film + Itunes

Last nite my Finnish friend and I viewed a Bollywood film "36 China Town"
In perfect Bollywood style their was amazing dancing, flashy clothes and no subtitles - but we laughed and I cringed at some of the cheesiness...

I also realized that my Hindi is not that bad... Too my ears it's mixture of Sinhala and Arabic?

Love ITunes - right now I am listening to the Artic Monkeys - a certain romance... A top band from the UK.
Mucho thanks to CBC Podcast for the recommendation!

I love the name of their EP "Who the F**K are the Artic Monkeys?

Peace and Blessings
Jam



Friday, May 12, 2006

What do you think of this pic?


I saw this interpretation at a Catholic home for the elderly...

It's bizarre...

Jam

There goes the neighbourhood:.

Calcutta feels like home, especially after 4 years. But Sudder Street [the backpacker's district] feels like my house.  I have my kitchen at Blue Sky, my cheap roof bedroom at Paraghon, my Libariry at the Bookshop and my living room at the Chai stand.

So a couple days ago... I was doing some work for the sisters and recieved some very sensitive information about what has been happening on Sudder Street.
To make the story short and short: It's about abuse of street people that I know by locals and foreigners. My eyes and the sister started to water when we were discussing it.
Doing this work I am very Blessed and Cursed to be hearing about these things...

My heart just wept. I couldn't believe this stuff was happening in my own house.  I came back to Sudder Street with new eyes. Everything seemed foreign to me.

I went to my refuge place at the Fairlawn and sat down to have a pint... just to think about all. I started to cry - this was my home and now I feel like I don't belong here anymore.

Ah! India you have this magically ability to take me, shake me and dump my emotions out on the floor.

Peace and Blessings
Jam

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

sayin it with flowers and writin on your gravestone

I found this title on the computer and thought it would be appropriate for today's blog.

Yesterday was a sad day at Kalighat.
There were very few volunteers around and one of the patients life was slipping, the few of us gathered around him - some watched, prayed, held his hand and some just stood there and thought about it all.

A New Yorker sat and held his hand for over 2 hrs.  I occasionally walked by and saw mixed emotions on his face...
It's truly sad to see someone pass away in front on your eyes - the west is very good at hiding death and illness.

About 1hr before the New Yorker asked me if my future plans inlcuded joining a seminary again, I responsded that by working at Kalighat I get a chance to understand God and then I get a chance to UNDERSTAND God. It's really shitty to see this move amount of love, grace and death sorrounding you on a daily basis. It test's your ability to show all of those in every aspect of your life.

But here at Kalighat it's all completely around you regardless of how you feel and think...- I sat there thinking of the other patients, they must be hurt seeing this person dying knowing that some of them might be next...

Just the thought of that was incomprehensible...

Jam


Monday, May 08, 2006

Good discussions and late nite chai...

I have been spending time with one of the volunteers from my last contract and it has been really quite amazing and uplifting to me.
We have spent at least 1 1/2hr talking every day, sometimes even more for the past week and it's been very good discussion. Ranging from how we view life in Kolkata to volunteering at Kalighat. I really love it and she's quite an excellent listener and go getter. I can't wait to meet this person for a cup of chai in Toronto a couple months/years from now...

It really has lifted my spirits while volunteering, being sick and concentrating on this project. Oh! this project has been so much fun - I love meeting with Sister Karina and simplifying her life with some Graphic Design/Community work.

The nuns are sooo cool - they are definitely in a league of their own.

Peace and Blessings
Jam

Friday, May 05, 2006

The frustration built up and today i was sooooo mad

One of my past participants from my last contract is here with me in Calcutta right now. I am helping her organize her volunteer time with the nuns + making sure she's okay with the whole India scene. It can be tough to do it alone.

I guess being around her has just brought up some of these old feelings from my last contract in Sri Lanka and today working at Kalighat - I just wanted to explode. I was soooooooo mad.

Mad at myself for making those stupid admin mistakes...
Mad at the people who literally lied to make me look bad at my job...
Mad at myself for taking so much blame for almost everything that went wrong...
Mad at trusting people...
Mad at my immaturity...
Mad at myself for not sticking up for my work...

AND especially
Mad at Ms. B for her part in planning to make sure "I never worked for CWY or in Manitoba again"

This was a person that I trusted and worked closely with for 10 months...she took our work/private conversations and used them against me.  She just stabbed me straight in the back and kept smiling at me from the front. I fell for it hook, line and sinker. She played the perfect acting game on my flaws and won perfectly. 
Lots of respect for that shit. Judas would be proud.

Today after spending a while feeding a blind man.
I felt peace and understanding.
I watched while he held his empty hand open for food and just kept it there for a couple minutes with a complete peace... until his food arrived.
 
I realized that I have been blessed even though all of this has happened to me...

I still have my life, health and freedom.
I need to forgive these people, learn my lesson and move on...life is not worth this much worrying. I have done contracts for over 300 people through hard work, perseverance and good feedback- what is 20 people?
 
And my dream job? was just an illusion.
I can start over again...and indeed I will.

Peace and Blessings
Jam

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

BlogNVlog

So what will happen in the future will people Blog or will they Vlog....
Regardless my friend Michelle in Pai decided to make a little video and we might experiment with a website later...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mddPibXbbQ

I hope you have fun watching!!

Jam