Monday, April 30, 2007

Sitting across from me at the internet cafe is this girl

that I "kinda" have a secret crush on...she's seems intriguing more than anything...it's bizarre because we have exchanged awkard quick glances for the past week around kolkata.

I don't even know if she speaks English and what would I even say? There are times like this when I can't even talkm the world spins and I get tongue tied...

And I don't even have the guts to go say hi...

grow balls Mr. Jam.

Sleeping on Sudder St. - literally.

I have a bit of insonmina mixed with jet -lag. It's really bad and the worst I have ever had.  So I am up at 3am every morning since I got here last week. It's going to suck with team coming in less the 6 days.  Last week I went for a long walk at 1am because I was bored and when I came back to my hotel, the gate was locked...the guard couldn't here my screaming through the gate. I was locked out and had to be at the airport in 5 hrs to pick up a Canadian.

So after 15 mins - there was nothing to do but find a bench and try to relax. So i went to the chai stand tucked myself in between some people and actually slept for 1/2hr it was pretty cool - until it started to rain. Then I found myself crouched for an hr while waiting for the rain to stop.

I really enjoyed it.

It made me realize how blessed I am and understand more about the people that I walk by everyday, as a foreigner it's hard. I wanna try to be more homeless for a while....hmmm....

Thursday, April 26, 2007

She's dying but she doesn't know

that I know.

A couple weeks ago in Toronto a colleague showed me a picture of a nun that I knew quite well. He told me she was passing away, to keep it a secret from her and let life take it's course.  I was just in shock. It was at the  fi3 fundraiser - so I went for a quick walk to meditate and then tried my best to keep a cool composure for the rest of the evening...

When I saw her in person a couple days ago she greeted me with the warmest smile, I took my normally seating pose beside her and we quickly conversed it up...

Her first question:

"What happened to your girlfriend?"

"I took you advice - and it didn't work. Next time you need to give better advice if it happens again..."

We laughed alot and have for the past several years - I ask her advice on everything.  Soon we went back to our normal routine, but it's so strange because I know patients who pass away at the house but I always think the nuns are super strong and invincible. I want to treat her different but my heart really suggest otherwise.
This is a really good lesson for me in learning patience and silence. It comes in many forms and right now only possible through faith.

It's funny life keeps reminding me of my motto's "Just because we are young doesn't mean that we are eternal" and "that's why I should always treat everyone like it's the last time I am going to see them". Life is just too short and I shouldn't expect more.

peace+
jam

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Feist's new Video + Exhausted

Listening to my little shuffle last nite - it's 3am and I finally hitting bed only to be woken up by a phone call from RJ - telling me that the Raptors lost on Saturday and that the guys are watching it again tonite.

Quick funny story about RJ - a couple weeks he came over to a friend's place with a vegetarian pizza thinking that I was vegetarian [we eat out alot actually :>] I told him I wasn't. He assured me that I was surely veggie because all veggies are communist. I told him I wasn' communist. He said because of my "green hat" that I was a communist. sigh.

I asked him later: "Who would rather sleep with Angelina Jolie or Oprah Winfrey" he said Angelina. I told him that he was racist.

4am - I finally manage to fall asleep only to get another call from my sister - thinking it's an emergency I answer...only to hear that she's just checkin in'

Well I let her checkin and I give a run down of my past week. Now she's exhausted.

Now I am exhausted on an hr of sleep, but I got a billion India things to do before I even think of bed.

This song hit before going to bed and now I have it in my head all day today.

sic"K"

Its not as bad as I thought... 18hr nap mixed with occasionally running to the bathroom and no intake of food. To me though that's very light compared to past experiences of mass vomitting and diarrhea.

I feel incredible tired and I am glad that I came a couple days early to Kolkata because tomorrow their is alot of work to do...

Its 4pm and now I am off for some brekkie - I love mango cornflakes!

peace+
jam

BTW>> I have changed the originally title - I can't have the queen of sarcasm on my ass, it's not fair. I am only a homosapien.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

England.

I guess should talk about England - most of it was a whirl wind - 3 days isnt really enough, especially when I stayed awake for 36 hr straight.
Well that's not true the weather was perfect in London, so on Thursday everyone including their mothers came out to have lunch/naps and so I took a quick 45 min nap in High park. It was really nice.

I spent the day getting aquainted with London again - after 15mins it all came back to me and the tube was familiar again. Later on I meet with an old friend for dinner and it was truly amazing to see how much both of our lives changed in 3 years - it's incredible. She's grown into a full women and yet I still feel like this awkward teenage boy around her... I was nervous as hell, but it's amazing how old friends can catch up so quickly and then distance/time are irrevlant for those brief moments.

Oxford - was amazing - I never went bicycling like I planned, but instead went pub crawling - heritage pub crawling. I knew the pubs and I shocked my ex [who lives in oxford] with locations and history ... it was awesome... Sitting at the Turl, Eagle and Child, Rosies and visting the Oxford Jail soaking in history, all over Guiness [mixed with black current - a semi bad new local trend], reading plaques and confronting locals on the pleasures of the Cdn accent.

Saturday morning I meet my Angkor Wat bike buddy for breakfast. We both ate this:
Turkish eggs from changa restaurant in Istanbul - two poached eggs with whipped yoghurt and hot chilli butter.
It was heavenly deliciously and unique - later we went walk for a delightful sunny walk which lead us to the Hyde park for the queen's b-day celebration, horses and canons inlcuded. Carolin is the by far the perfect cafe companion and walking buddy - because we never run out of discussion pieces, she's got the best german/english accent which makes me laugh and she has an awesome smile that makes the whole room glow. A good platonic friend to meet to brighten the day.

Well that's enough - exhausted from typing and I have to get up in 6hrs for Mass and hide from the nuns [because I don't want to do special project yet - I just wanna serve....]

Off for some street chai.

peace+
jam

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Here....

It feels weird and I feel homey. The first thing that happened when I walked back into Kalighat...I dragged into doing dressings - peeling off some's sole of thier feet and removing green puss is not something to do when you are jet lagged.
 
Strangely - peace stopped the air, grace filled the wound and we grudged on.
 
I am blessed, beyond words.
 
peace+
jam

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

It ends now.

This season of life comes to a close - the gradually process dwindles down to this day. Last season I wandered back in Toronto with a restless heart, a troubled soul and no grand vision. It's been a fun and challenging 9 months - connecting with friends, faith and the city.

This time before I leave I am giving away almost everything I own - to the needy even - the orange scarf :< I decided to start life from scratch for clothing, books, utensils, hardware and whatever else I need when I come back in Sept.

Well off to England for a couple days of much needed RandR, then to the wonderful Raj and Mother Teresa on Saturday.

Cheers,
Jam

Monday, April 09, 2007

Weird Email::

It's from my past Sri Lankan participant. Can you help me decipher it?

hi jam iam nevar foget we war in canada in summer and wentaer at yer 2005
its so good . waen i tollk werth nandika abuth yoa sam taem , he sed dat
or... jam hes very cool man . you cameto sri lanka agen you very well came
allwes

--

http://www.freedomizeindia.com
http://www.whereintheworldisjam.com
http://www.readbetweenthelines.ca [new site feedback really needed!]

Thursday, April 05, 2007

waz up?

So it's been a while...
So here is some point form notes:

I decided to leave Queen East on my return in the fall :: its getting
to posh and hip and a bit expensive. The cheapo groovy little cafes
are being replaced with uber restaurants - Soma Restaurant, The
Comrade and further along east it's getting too posh with too many
people trying to look like a hipster.

Also my pub closed down and my neighbourhood crush moved in 3 weeks.
It's been a bit devasting.

http://www.nowtoronto.com/issues/2007-04-05/goods_foodfeature.php

I am returning in the fall:: hopefully for a long time to attempt
further education this time to finish kindergarden.

Leaving for Asia in 10 days:: Excited, semi-packed but it all hasn't
hit me yet... It will next week when I go mad scrabbling to get those
sure to pop up India plans in effect.

Okay that's all I got::: Oh! Come to POSTFACE tonite.
http://freedomizeindia.com/images/postface.jpg
These guys are planning it all. The first fundraiser that I just have
to show up. I am excited...these guys rock and roll.

peace+
jam

Monday, April 02, 2007

I didn't touch the internet for 48hrs...

I am scared to check my email...but here I go...

wish me luck!